How do you deal with a defensive person at work?

How to Talk to a Defensive Person: Dos and Don’ts

1. Try to understand why someone is defensive.
2. Consider the other person’s preferred communication style.
3. Give a defensive person space to process their feelings.
4. Remember that everyone has bad days, and their defensiveness may have nothing to do with you.

What causes a person to be extremely defensive?

If you lack the skills to communicate in an assertive way, or feel anxious socially, this might translate into defensive behavior. A reaction to shame or guilt. If you are feeling guilty about something and someone else brings up a related topic, then you might respond in a defensive manner.

What are examples of defensive behaviors?

Defensive behaviors are a group of evolved responses to threat. They include flight, freezing, defensive threat, defensive attack, and risk assessment. The type of defensive behavior elicited in a particular situation depends on features of both the threat and the situation.

What is defensive personality disorder?

A brief personality profile of the individual who gets easily defensive. Defensive individuals often have control and power issues, and perceive anyone confronting them or holding them accountable as a threat. They are uncomfortable with feelings in general and managing their own.

How do you tell someone they are too defensive?

Use ‘I’ statements One of the most effective methods of communicating with a defensive person is using “I” statements. This means framing the effects of situation around your personal experience, not on what the other person did wrong or what it might mean about them as a person.

How do I stop being defensively reacting?

How to Not Be Defensive

1. Know your triggers and anticipate them.
2. Give it a name.
3. Assume good intentions.
4. Don’t take it personally.
5. Adopt a growth mindset.
6. Exercise self-compassion.

How do you communicate with a highly defensive person?

Here are several steps that can help you become more emotionally intelligent when dealing with defensive people:

1. Refrain from reacting defensively.
2. Shift your focus to the other person.
3. Ask questions until you understand them.
4. Move toward a resolution.

How do defensive people behave?

A defensive person has trouble accepting responsibility for their speech and actions. They have difficulty with constructive criticism and may mistakenly take it as a perceived threat. Anyone can be triggered by a personal issue that causes them to have a defensive reaction.

Why do I get defensive at work?

And it’s normal to feel defensive. The amygdala, which is the part of the brain that constantly scans our environment for threats, cannot tell the difference between a psychological threat and a physical threat. Essentially, we get defensive because we don’t feel safe.

Why do employees become defensive?

Most often, these behaviors are meant to make the employee look strong and mask a fear of change, an aversion to anticipated conflict, or the worry that they will look stupid or incompetent.

Is being defensive a trauma response?

Defensiveness shows itself through trauma for a variety of reasons. According to science, defensiveness is a common symptom for those who struggle with trauma, especially those who struggle with trauma related to sexual violence.

How do you diffuse defensive behavior?

10 Tips for Defusing Defensiveness

1. Notice Behavior. Often we are so involved in the content of the conversation that we fail to notice what is happening.
2. Remain Calm.
3. Use a reflecting statement.
4. Follow with a question.
5. Ask questions.
6. Do something physical.
7. Get the person to tell their story.
8. Identify what they value.

How do you address a defensive employee?

Here are some do’s and don’ts to help you provide criticism.

1. Don’t Forget to Praise.
2. Do Emphasize Your Intention to Be Helpful.
3. Don’t Criticize Reactions.
4. Do React With Understanding and Compassion.
5. Don’t Escalate the Situation.
6. Do Be Open to a Conversation.
7. Don’t Criticize in Public.
8. Do Pay Attention to Time and Place.